Unexpected Loss and Unprepared Grief: Finding Hope in Hospice with Aly Bird

Jul 18, 2023

Unexpected Loss and Unprepared Grief: Finding Hope in Hospice with Aly Bird

We live in a culture that encourages us to numb discomfort and find quick solutions to our problems. However, grief defies these norms. It is a complex and ever-evolving experience that cannot simply be "gotten over." When faced with an unexpected loss, we find ourselves unprepared for the tumultuous journey of grief and uncertain about its duration. In such times, seeking assistance and support from hospice becomes invaluable, as they can guide us in navigating and coping with grief in a healthy way. It is natural for us to feel like we’re more capable of managing our grief early on, but we must not undermine our grief by denying ourselves the support and solace that hospice bereavement services can offer. In this episode, Aly Bird talks more about grief and the tools you need to navigate through grief positively to transform your perspective and empower yourself with greater agency and comfort.

Aly Bird is a coach, author, hospice volunteer, registered psychotherapist with qualifying status through the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario.

Since her husband's untimely death, Aly has poured her heart into helping those who feel hopeless during unexpected crises. Her extensive studies of grief psychology and culture, combined with her devastating first-hand knowledge, led her to create a road map for the courageous and dedicated individuals willing to show up for themselves and the people they love with unconditional love, empowerment and reverence. As a speaker, coach and registered psychotherapist, Aly is committed to changing the way our culture recognizes and handles grief. To aid in her mission, Aly has authored Grief Ally: helping people you love cope with death, loss, and grief and is pursuing a graduate degree in counseling psychology. She is also a member of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association and an active member of the Bereavement Ontario Network.

Tune in!

Key Highlights from the Episode;

[00:30] Episode intro and a quick bio of the guest; Aly Bird

[01:57] Aly’s background and what she does in the psychotherapy space

[02:32] Aly’s grief story, her life-changing loss and traumatic bereavement

[05:14] How to navigate grief from a sudden and unexpected loss

[07:28] How Aly’s husband's death propelled her to be a therapist

[09:22] Aly's emotional shock after her husband's death and how people supported her

[13:15] How Aly is helping people get the tools before they need them

[16:17] About the tools that are in Aly’s book: Grief Ally

[19:04] What inspired Aly to become a hospice volunteer, and her work

[24:32] What peer bereavement means

[25:55] How much time Aly spends with people she is paired up with as a hospice volunteer

[27:59] What made Aly seek out bereavement services as a window with a traumatic loss

[30:56] Services that Aly offers to help people through their grieving process

[33:04] Aly’s advice on using hospice services to support you in your grief

[35:40] Wrap-up and end of the show

Notable Quotes

The closer you are to the bereaved person, the more mistakes you’re going to make, but the more mistakes you make, the more you strengthen your relationship. [12:06]
No one can prepare for an unexpected death, and no one is prepared for what grief would look like and how long it will take to be okay. [13:32]
Grief is something that is innate to every human being, and our bodies know what to do if we give it the time it deserves. [19:45]
Don’t compare; it is in our nature to compare, but don’t do yourself the disservice of devaluing your grief by denying yourself any sort of bereavement support if you think it will be of benefit to you; healthy coping with grief can change your perspective and the way you live your life. [33:26]
Often, in the beginning, we think we’re more capable than we might be at managing our grief, so early on, when we’re offered bereavement service, we might shrug it off as something we don’t need but a few months down the road we might not be fine, and it is okay to go back and explore it; there is nothing wrong with doing it later in the road if it's available to you. [35:03]